


the one

by llostt_in_ttranslationn



Series: preath: the s(ex) tapes [2]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, F/F, part 2 featuring roughly the same timeframe as part 1 but this time from tobin's perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:33:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llostt_in_ttranslationn/pseuds/llostt_in_ttranslationn
Summary: Maybe things would be easier if Tobin just knew why.Inspired by FLETCHER's "the s(ex) tapes" track 4, "the one"
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press, Tobin Heath/Original Female Character (mentioned)
Series: preath: the s(ex) tapes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911478
Comments: 8
Kudos: 94





	the one

**Author's Note:**

> told y'all i would be back real soon! how's just one day later for speed? but also, just a head's up that they won't all be this quick simply because the full album that this series is based on doesn't drop until 9/18. so the first four parts will probably be out by then as four songs have been released already, but the rest won't be up until after. and i said before that there would be seven parts but i'm dyslexic and counted wrong so there will actually be eight lol. anyways, enjoy!

Contrary to popular belief, Tobin isn’t an idiot. 

Okay, maybe a little, but not when it comes to this. She _knows_ she wasn’t blindly missing signs that things with Christen were going downhill. Because that’s just the thing: _they weren’t_. Things were hard, sure, but they always had been and Tobin thought they were in agreement about making things work. Apparently not.

And if Tobin obsesses over that fact every night for weeks as she sobs into her pillow, well, she likes to think she’s valid in doing so. 

It isn’t until about a month after Christen has _abandoned_ her, when Sonnett and Horan drag her out to a bar to “stop being so pathetic!” and to "get so shitfaced that Christen won't even exist!" that she goes even one night without crying over old pictures of her and Christen.

That’s the night she meets Lucy, who is the opposite of Christen in so many ways that it helps numb Tobin’s pain ever so slightly.

Where Christen has beautiful dark curls, Lucy has silky pin-straight blonde hair. Where Christen is all toned muscles and soccer-scarred cinnamon skin, Lucy is slim with a smooth milky complexion. Where Christen is quiet and contemplating, Lucy is loud and impulsive. 

Everything Tobin loves Christen for is absent in Lucy, and Tobin relishes in it. The lack of reminder of what was torn away from her so suddenly. 

Tobin accepts Lucy’s number scrawled on a napkin after much prompting from Lindsey and Emily. And at first, she doesn’t plan to use it.

But then, two nights after their first meeting, Tobin has her first dream in weeks without Christen in it. Instead, Lucy is the star of that night’s unconscious wandering. And the dream is _hot_. It makes Tobin feel absolutely awful and she sulks for the whole day afterwards. Until Lindsey brings up Lucy that night as them and some of the Thorns split a bottle of disgusting liquor that Kling supplied and Tobin makes a split second decision to send a text, fueled by alcohol and the pain of missing Christen and the remnants of that sex dream lingering in her hazy mind.

Tobin wouldn’t really say she and Lucy are in a relationship. Mostly because she has to take at least two shots of tequila in order to even look Lucy in the eyes as they fuck. But even if Tobin’s courage stems exclusively from alcohol, Lucy definitely isn’t complaining about their nights together. They have fun together, which is honestly all that matters.

Somehow, nights of fun turn into days spent together, and suddenly Lucy is sleeping in Tobin’s bed most nights and attending post-game outings with the team. She even becomes a staple at Sunday brunches with Kling, Sonnett, and Horan during the weekends that the Thorns don’t have away games.

All that, and they _still_ never talk about their status. Which honestly, Tobin isn’t complaining about. Because Lucy is good in bed and is an even better distraction from the ache in Tobin’s chest. But she’s temporary. Tobin knows it, and she hopes Lucy does too. She can’t be sure though, because she and Lucy don’t actually ever do much talking when they’re together. 

Tobin can’t picture herself spending the rest of her life with anyone other than Christen, and the little velvet box sitting untouched in the back of her bureau's bottom drawer is a glaring reminder that Lucy will never have her heart. Because when Tobin had that ring custom-made six months ago, she solidified that Christen was her soulmate and that they would be together for the rest of their lives. 

At least, that’s what Tobin thought would happen. Even so, Lucy would never be _The One_. Not just because she was barely twenty-two years old and had no interest in soccer before she met Tobin. But because Tobin already met the woman she knew God intended for her. And she had lost her. 

But Tobin had been doing what she does best. Ever since Christen ended things, Tobin reverted back to her old self, for the most part. She now exclusively lived in the moment, not worrying about the future and trying her best to ignore the past. And maybe thirty-one was a little old to be behaving like her just-out-of-college nomadic self, but if Tobin dwelled on anything other than the right-now, her life would surely crumble through the façade holding it together.

Because anything other than a quick glance at how she’s doing would show the truth. Tobin’s life is a mess. And she’s been doing nothing to fix it other than shoving her feelings deep down or channeling them into soccer and sex. She refuses to speak to anyone about anything that's going on. Not with her family, or her friends, and most definitely not with Lucy. Because all of Tobin’s baggage would rightfully scare the younger woman away. And as much as Tobin doesn’t see a future with Lucy, she wants the woman in her present. At least for a little while.

Tobin isn’t really sure what she’s waiting for. She’s pretty sure Christen isn’t going to magically appear in Portland begging for forgiveness. And Tobin has had to restrain herself from buying a one-way ticket to Gothenburg on multiple occasions, because Christen had been so sure about leaving that even Tobin knows that chasing after her, to a different continent no less, would probably only be disastrous. 

That doesn’t stop her from streaming every single one of Christen’s games that she possibly can, regardless of what absurd time they play at in Tobin’s time-zone. 

Tobin wonders if Christen does the same. She wonders if Christen even thinks about her at all. She has to, right? Tobin doesn’t know. She feels like she doesn’t know a lot of things these days. Especially because she has no idea what made Christen leave her after four years together. Things weren’t always rainbows and butterflies but Tobin had thought the good times greatly outweighed the bad ones. 

Maybe things would be easier if Tobin just knew _why_. Maybe moving on wouldn’t seem like such a far-fetched idea if she had a clue about what had been going through Christen’s mind on that fateful day all those months ago. Maybe if Tobin had proposed by that point, things would have been different. Maybe Christen had thought Tobin wasn’t committed enough, when in reality, Tobin was tirelessly planning the perfect way to ask Christen to marry her. So many maybes. So many questions left unanswered. Tobin wishes she could get the answers. 

Tobin wishes _Christen_ would give her the answers.

She wishes that Christen would come back.

She wishes that Christen had never left.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought here or on tumblr @ llostt-in-ttranslationn


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